SINGLE IN YOUR 20’s

Brewing my cup of coffee one morning, the radio ever so lightly filling in the emptiness of my apartment, I decided to laze around for a while. Picking up one of my favourite books – a compilation of love letters from great men and women in history, I was pulled in the compilation. There were layered expressions of love and longing expressed so beautifully in ways that words could have ever been written.

Taking a break from the book and while finishing my coffee, I tried to recall the last time I was actually in a relationship, or in love. I am very aware that many in our generation equate being in a relationship as a fulfilment of social obligation, there might not be love but there is convenience.

At the same time, I am also aware of many around me who settle down, or fall in love or are desperately searching for their better half because the next person on their friend list is tying the knot. And this is all happening in a circle of 20- something young adults.

I feel, in my perspective, that being single does not necessarily mean one is alone. Let me tell you that there was a point of time in my youth where I conformed with peer pressure and felt the need to feel complete with the endorsement of a relationship and social approval of my circle. I thought that made me less lonely, that made me an adult and strong!

Little did I know, that I couldn’t have been more wrong ! I have felt the loneliest in my life for a very long time, ironically when I was with someone. The moment I grew up completely alone, I have never felt more complete as I do now.

There is a difference between being alone and lonely. And there is a way you can enjoy both without feeling too stigmatised by society. I know that there is always pressure on us as young adults, to have everything sorted. You should have a stable career by 25, get married and have kids by 30 and not later and so on and so forth. But have you ever wondered, that in the rush of getting things established and wanting to spend a life with someone else, how well do we know ourselves first?

Loving and respecting yourself is a way of setting a standard of acceptable behaviour from someone you let in your life in the most intimate way possible. Self-love should be really endorsed more!

Its nice to have someone’s thoughts help you fall asleep at night, but its equally important to be at peace even when you are on your own. If you constantly feel the pressure to jump from relationships or settle down for mediocrity because of convenience, it’s time you recognise that.

There was a long point in my life where I used to feel shackled up at the thought that I was single, and that maybe there was something wrong with me! But off late, I have realised how important it is to be aware that being single in your 20’s is often a gift in disguise.

Its a time and phase in your life where permanence of anything is an illusion. It’s a moment where you are too young and too old that you have ever been. You are constantly shaping and altering your life, well at least I am! It is also the phase where you start understanding the importance of family, close friends and handling mental health and trying to balance it all.

You no longer let depression and anxiety be an issue and you try hard to calculate your career goals because that’s priority. These are your selfish years. These years are for you and you alone. You put in the best work for your development while listening to your heart skip a beat just at the thought of your exciting future. Its a time when you want to dream of all the successes and the love that you deserve and you envision the relationship you would want to settle for.

It is also a time when you are constantly meeting new people. All the time. You soon realise the kind of people you enjoy conversing with, and often the difference between the ones who will text you at 3 am and the ones who will send you morning texts.

You know dates are easy and without expectations and you appreciate when someone is passionate about their life and what they do. You fall in and out of attractions, you kiss too often and you fall too hard, but all in all you learn to take care of yourself first, you learn that you are your own first priority and if no one is there, you can fall asleep listening to the song of your heartbeats.

You get to live unapologetically and one day at a time. You make space in your life for someone to enter with their baggages, when every now and then you have finally learnt how to organise yours.

Till then, one day at a time. And drop the idea that you have to “settle” in order to have been successful.

Jumpsuit – Wardrobe

XOXO,

Adhisa

NÂș2 MORNINGS IN PARIS

There is no feeling in the world that compares to waking up in Paris and understanding that life will never be the same again. From small bakeries and boulangeries filling the streets, to the quiet stylised hustle of Parisian life, the aroma of croissants and freshly baked baguettes fill the stony cobbled roads and lanes.

On many mornings, I used to wake up at the sound of the truck below my apartment, the bakery opening at 7am while its still pitch dark and people waiting in a queue patiently to get their respective fill of coffee and croissant. Not only is it the go to breakfast but also amidst the hustle of catching the next metro and walking everywhere, its the one torrid breakfast affair that no Parisian would compromise.

Many a times, I used to wake up before sunrise, go down and enjoy waiting in the queue while my stomach growled. Taking my cup of cappuccino and a beurre croissant – I would go behind at the canal near my house and sit on the stone platforms.

Something about the sight of water taking its natural course, the coolness and purity of it all used to be a great way to rejuvenate my mind. There were many mornings when after this private rendezvous, I used to go to the weekend market which happened right opposite my apartment.

It used to be my best part of morning routines and shopping! Not only were the weekend market places my absolute favourite but seeing everyone be so tuned into picking up fresh vegetables and grocery used to really make my day .

It was my only solace where I used to feel like I was making very important life choices tbh. There is something about picking up your food, sniffing it (if you are weird like me), feeling the texture of the ingredients and then cooking the same.

The bustle of a market place and the rush of people walking in, talking over each other, some bargaining some checking the quality of products etc, it makes you feel familiar to the place you come from and helps you connect with the place you live at.

Chaos and commotion are not overrated. Take a moment sometime and freeze out amidst the crowd. Don’t you see what a small part of this madness you represent? Everyone is busy picking out their perfect ingredients, everyone is trying to get at least one thing right. We tend to be so hard on people sometimes that we often forget that everyone, despite the chaos and commotions are just picking out the right ingredient.

XOXO,

Adhisa Ghosh

SHADES OF COOL

We live in a country where obsession with fairness products and skin care that promise to lighten your skin shades by ten times are everywhere in the market. It not only dampens a person’s confidence but also somewhere creates an internal conflict of what you want to wear, what will suit your dusky or wheatish skin.

A lot of people give unsolicited advice and tell you not to wear dark shades on your lips or nails if you are not of a fairer skin tone and many such redundant suggestions.

May i interrupt – and tell you that there are shades that are so cool that you would totally wear them on dusky to wheatish skin? I could even show you a few!

NOTE – For all my lip shades, I generally mix more than one colour for the perfect degree of shade I want !

LIP SHADES THAT SCREAM

Worn in the above photo, buy the red lip shade here and the maroon here

Buy the above shade of Nicka K True Matte lip shade in Aubergine here.

I am wearing Stila All Day Liquid Lipstick in creamy matte finish. Since I checked and this is not in stock anymore, you can buy an alternative in Maybelline . It has the same texture, colour and finish. Buy it here.

For the above lip shade, I have mixed two shades of colour!

One is the Sephora #Lipstories in 45 City Beat (matte finish) which you can buy here.
The second shade is a hot pink liquid matte lip shade from Sugar which you can buy it here.

MY FAVOURITE NAIL SHADES

For the shade I am wearing in the above photo, its from Faces Canada in shade Hocus that you can buy here.

I love variant of colours for my nails, my personal choices range from pastel shades to ombre and dark tones in matte. For matte shades in a range of light to dark tones, you can buy it here.

For matte shades from Nykaa which are my actual favourites and what i use, along with the cookie crumble shades – you can buy them here.

Holographic nail shades are the latest trend now and although I am yet to get them for myself, you can find various brands offering them online. You can buy the above shade and its various ranges here.

Now that I have given you a list down of the various shades you should indulge in a bit of retail therapy and get splurging! These are easy on your budget and totally worth it.

The ideologies that bind us to such stereotypes are always based on theories propagated by mindsets that evidently were backward! Even today I hear a lot of people from your and my generation – the so-called millennials who still sign up to such nonsense theories of dark colours on lips and nails and why the need for it.

Well the need is simple – we want to look good in wearing whatever we feel we can pull off without your unsolicited advice, thank you!

We are all struggling, trying to get comfortable inn beauty standards we are setting for ourselves everyday. So if you have a darker skin tone and you want to wear a darker shade – nothing stops you other than you!

Yes, you can flush all those well wishers and their advice and wear every shade of cool.

XOXO,

Adhisa Ghosh